When Life Feels Unfair

There are times when no distraction, no soothing, and no problem-solving seem enough—like losing a loved one, facing illness, or dealing with a breakup. In such moments, Radical Acceptance becomes a survival skill.

It doesn’t mean liking what happened. It means accepting reality as it is—without fighting against “why me?” thoughts that only deepen suffering.

🕊️ Radical Acceptance

Radical Acceptance = fully and completely accepting reality.

• It’s not approval, it’s acknowledgment.

• It’s saying: “This is happening. I can’t change the past, but I can choose how I respond now.”

• Fighting reality intensifies pain. Acceptance softens it.

👉 Pain × Resistance = Suffering.
When resistance drops, suffering lessens.

🧭 Turning the Mind

Acceptance is rarely a one-time decision. The mind drifts back to anger, denial, or “if only…” thoughts. Turning the Mind means choosing acceptance again and again—like steering a wheel back on course.

Steps:

1. Notice you’re fighting reality.

2. Remind yourself: “Fighting this will only add suffering.”

3. Gently “turn” toward acceptance, even if you have to do it 100 times a day.

Case Example: Miss. P and Loss

Miss. P, a 45-year-old homemaker, lost her sibling unexpectedly. She kept replaying thoughts: “This should not have happened. Life is unfair.” Her grief grew heavier.

Through DBT, she learned Radical Acceptance. She began practicing: “I cannot change that this happened. I can choose how I live with it.” Each time anger or denial resurfaced, she practiced Turning the Mind, gently bringing herself back to acceptance.

Her grief didn’t vanish—but it became bearable. She was able to honor her sibling’s memory without drowning in pain.

🗝️ Key Takeaway

• Radical Acceptance = acknowledging reality fully, even if painful.

• Turning the Mind = repeatedly choosing acceptance when resistance returns.

Together, they transform unbearable suffering into manageable pain, opening space for healing.

✨ About the Author

I’m Dr. Srinivas Rajkumar T., MD (AIIMS, New Delhi), DNB, MBA (BITS, Pilani), Consultant Psychiatrist.

📍 Apollo Clinic, Velachery, Chennai
📍 Kumar’s Healthcare, Chromepet

My areas of interest include:

• DBT and CBT for emotional regulation

• Addiction and de-addiction care

• Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (ADHD, Autism, Behavioural Issues)

• Geriatric Psychiatry (Dementia, Depression, Memory Clinics)

📞 8595155808 for appointments

Through this series, my aim is to show how therapy offers practical tools for navigating life’s toughest moments.