How Three Simple Steps Can Help You Save a Life

Most people think suicide prevention is the job of professionals. Yet research and experience continue to show something profoundly important:

Suicidal crises are often witnessed first by friends, family members, colleagues, and neighbours—not by doctors.

This is where QPR comes in.

QPR stands for Question – Persuade – Refer, and it is one of the world’s most widely taught, evidence-based suicide-prevention strategies. It is designed not for clinicians, but for ordinary people who may find themselves in extraordinary moments.

You don’t need a psychology degree.
You don’t need perfect words.
You just need three skills—and the willingness to use them.

🧩 What Is QPR?

QPR is often compared to CPR.

• CPR keeps the heart alive until help arrives.

• QPR keeps hope alive until professional help arrives.

It teaches you to:

1. Recognize warning signs of suicide

2. Ask directly about suicidal thoughts

3. Listen without judgement

4. Encourage and support the person to seek help

These steps, though simple, have saved countless lives across the world.

🚨 Step 1: QUESTION – Ask the Hard Question, Gently

This is the step most people fear.
We worry: “What if I make it worse?” or “What if I say the wrong thing?”

But research is crystal clear:
Asking someone about suicide does NOT increase suicidal thoughts.
It opens a door to relief.

How to ask:

✓ “I’ve noticed you’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately. Are you thinking of harming yourself?”
✓ “Are you feeling so hopeless that you’re thinking about suicide?”
✓ “Do you ever feel like life is not worth living?”

Avoid vague questions like:
“Are you okay?” or “You’re not thinking anything silly, right?”
These close the conversation instead of opening it.

If they say yes, stay calm.
If they say no, you’ve still shown deep care.

❤️ Step 2: PERSUADE – Offer Hope, Stay Present

Once someone tells you they are struggling, they need one thing above all:

a reason to stay alive right now.

You don’t need solutions.
You don’t need to fix their problems.
You just need to inspire hope and help them feel less alone.

How to persuade gently:

✓ “I’m really glad you told me. I want to help you stay safe.”
✓ “These feelings can pass. You don’t have to go through this alone.”
✓ “Let’s find support together. You matter more than you realise.”

Avoid saying:

✗ “It’s all in your head.”
✗ “Others have it worse.”
✗ “Don’t be dramatic.”

Your goal isn’t to debate their emotions—just to stand with them in the darkness until light returns.

🏥 Step 3: REFER – Guide Them to Professional Help

QPR isn’t about taking responsibility for another person’s long-term safety. It’s about connecting them to the right support.

Ways to refer:

If immediate danger:
Call emergency services or take them to the nearest hospital.

If not immediate danger:

• Help them contact a mental health professional.

• Offer to accompany them to an appointment.

• Help them reach out to a trusted family member.

• Share helpline numbers for crisis support.

The key is not leaving them alone with their distress.

🔍 Warning Signs You Should Never Ignore

QPR also teaches you to look out for these red flags:

• Talking about wanting to die

• Feeling like a burden

• Sudden withdrawal

• Reckless behavior

• Drastic mood changes

• Increased substance use

• Giving away possessions

• Saying “I can’t do this anymore”

If your instincts feel alarmed, take it seriously.

🌱 Why QPR Matters

You may never perform CPR.
But you will meet someone struggling emotionally.

Sometimes the difference between life and death is a single conversation.

You don’t need to be a therapist.
You just need compassion and the courage to ask.

QPR teaches a powerful truth:

You can’t do everything.
But you can do something—and that something may save a life.

✨ Final Thoughts: You Can Be Someone’s Turning Point

A person thinking about suicide feels trapped in a storm they believe will never end.
Your presence, your words, and your willingness to ask the tough questions can break that illusion.

QPR transforms ordinary people into gatekeepers of hope.
Everyone should know it—students, teachers, parents, colleagues, neighbours.

You never know when you might be the one who hears someone’s silent cry.

✦ About the Author

Dr. Srinivas Rajkumar T, MD (AIIMS), DNB, MBA (BITS Pilani)
Senior Consultant Psychiatrist & Neurofeedback Specialist
Mind & Memory Clinic, Apollo Clinic Velachery (Opp. Phoenix Mall)
📧 srinivasaiims@gmail.com 📞 +91-8595155808

Dr. Srinivas integrates evidence-based psychotherapy, including CBT, QPR principles, neurofeedback, and modern neuroscience to support individuals struggling with emotional crises and suicidal thoughts. He is committed to promoting accessible mental health education and empowering communities with practical, life-saving skills.