Recently, a young child appearing on a popular television quiz show spoke in a tone that many perceived as disrespectful or arrogant. The clip spread rapidly, and within hours, people began labelling him as “ill-mannered”, “entitled”, and “a product of bad parenting”. Some even suggested harsh discipline to “teach him a lesson.”

As a psychiatrist who works closely with children and families, I believe this incident demands more reflection than reaction. A child’s behaviour on national television is not a moral failure—it is a window into how children think, how modern parenting is evolving, and how society responds to imperfection.

Do Children Today Lack Respect? Or Do We Romanticize The Past?

Almost every generation believes that the next one is worse. Parents say, “Humare zamane ke bachche aise nahi the” (Children weren’t like this in our time). But historically, even ancient writings from Greece and India echo the same complaint.

What we consider “the decline of values” is often a cognitive illusion. We tend to glorify our past and assume children today are more indisciplined. In reality, every generation of children is simply adapting to a new world that adults have created for them.

Why Do Children Speak with Overconfidence?

At 9 or 10 years of age, a child’s brain is still developing the ability to reflect, self-evaluate, and understand social hierarchies. They often believe they know more than they actually do—a normal developmental trait known as overestimation bias. Under bright lights, cameras, and an applauding audience, this can easily look like arrogance.

Add to this:

• The pressure of performing on national television

• Laughter or claps from the audience reinforcing “bold” behaviour

• A desire to appear confident rather than afraid

This is not rudeness. This is an immature brain trying to look brave in a very adult world.

Modern Parenting, Entitlement, and the Six-Pocket Child

Today, many children grow up in small families—often being the only child of working parents, surrounded by grandparents. One child, six pockets of income. Every request is met quickly, not always out of luxury, but often from guilt, love or fatigue.

The message unintentionally becomes:
“Your wishes matter more than rules, delay, or discomfort.”

Over time, this can create entitlement—not because the child is bad, but because they have never been taught “No.”
Love without boundaries doesn’t create confidence—it creates fragility.

Pandemic Children — Seen, But Not Socialised

This generation has also lived through something unique—lockdowns at a developing age. For many months:

• There was no playground, no classroom, no fight-over-a-pencil, no sharing of tiffin

• Only screens, homework on laptops, and adults around

• No opportunity to learn how to lose, wait, argue, or apologise

When schools reopened, teachers across the world saw the same thing—more impulsivity, less patience, and lower tolerance to frustration. Not arrogance, but developmental delay in social skills.

The Slap Culture: Why Fear Does Not Create Respect

After the video went viral, many adults said, “This is what happens when children are not slapped.”
But scientific research and decades of clinical work tell us something different:

• Hitting teaches fear, not respect.

• The child behaves only till the fear lasts—not because they understand why behaviour matters.

• Corporal punishment increases aggression, shame, anxiety, and in some cases, trauma.

• Most importantly: it teaches that power = violence.

We must remember—a silent child is not always a well-raised child. Sometimes, just a frightened one.

So What Works? Balanced, Loving Discipline

Children don’t need perfection. They need adults who are:

• Warm but firm

• Loving but consistent

• Respectful towards the child, yet unafraid to say “No.”

This parenting style is called authoritative parenting. It is not permissive, and it is not harsh. It says:
“I will hear you, but I will not always agree with you.”

And the most powerful tool in this approach?
Modelling.
If we want children to be humble, we must show humility.
If we want them to apologize, we must apologize when we are wrong.
Children do not become what we say. They become what we are.

The Real Question Is Not About the Child—it’s About Us

The child on that TV show will grow, mature, and forget this incident. But will we, as adults, grow too?

Are we a society that:
✅ Encourages confidence, even if it comes unpolished?
❌ Or one that ridicules, mocks, and publicly shames children for their mistakes?

A child’s mind is like wet clay. The world can shape it with patience and heat—or crack it with force.

About the Author

Dr. Srinivas Rajkumar T
MD (AIIMS, New Delhi), DNB, MBA (BITS Pilani)
Consultant Psychiatrist — Mind & Memory Clinic
Apollo Clinic (Opposite Phoenix MarketCity), Velachery, Chennai
📞 +91-8595155808
🌐 www.srinivasaiims.com